Tony, When Will It Be Enough?
by jaydream
Summary: *Numbness was safe...* Post "Guilty Pleasure" McGee centered oneshot


**So. I absolutely loved last night's episode there was so much McNozzo and so much fangirling from me. I loved it. BUT! Tony was a meanie. *pout* And I haven't seen him be that mean since...Season 6. Boo you, Tony. Be nicer to your Probie.**

**Anyway...I was fusing on this all day and I finally got the chance to sit down and tend to it.**

* * *

**Title: **_Tony, When Will It Be Enough?_

**Genre: **_Drama/Angst/Romance_

**Rating: **_T_

**Characters: **_Timothy McGee and Anthony DiNozzo_

**Characters Mentioned: **_McCadden, Gibbs, Abby Scuito, and Ziva David_

**Pairing: **_McNozzo_

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There was nothing on the face of the earth that aggravated Timothy McGee more than people pointing out his problems and faults. Especially when the person doing it was someone he thought he might have a chance with.

Tim couldn't remember how much money and time he'd spent on gyms, special diet foods, and occasionally a diet pill or two in order to get to where he was. To impress Tony. To get Tony to pay one little speck of attention to him in a way other than that of horrendous teasing and prodding. Timmy had finally thought that he had a breakthrough with Tony. Turns out he was wrong.

_"You were funnier when you were fatter."_

Hugging his knees to his chest, Timmy sat in the corner of his apartment bathroom resting his chin on his arms. Tears streamed down his cheeks as they have been doing for the past hour and a half. He couldn't get the words out of his mind. He couldn't get the images of Tony and stupid freaking Detective McCadden hanging out and having a great time out of his head. He couldn't shake it all away. It was burnt into his mind and soul. It was squeezing him so hard, he could barely breathe. He had worked so hard for so long to get what he wanted. So hard to try and grasp Tony into his hands. Tim really thought he'd had it, to be honest.

He didn't understand what possessed Tony to say that. Maybe he was aggravated with him. Timmy wouldn't blame the older agent. They'd been fighting for a while lately. Tim agreed with Ziva wholeheartedly. They were having a wild seven year itch...and it was hurtful. He didn't know what Tony was feeling, but he was one-hundred percent sure that it wasn't hurt. If anything, it was probably pride and self-satisfaction. Tim couldn't figure out what it was that made him fall for Tony every single day. In all honesty, he wished that he didn't fall for a no-good, smug, self-centered jerk like Tony. It was stupidity and he was only going to get hurt further. Yet the damage was already done.

So what then? Tony _didn't_ like the new Tim? He didn't like the competativeness? The talking back? Of course not. Timmy knew how Tony was and if anybody talked back to him or tried to one up him, the Italian had a rampage fit. However, Timmy expected some level of respect once he had slimmed down. And for a while, Tony had given it. Tony had _noticed_. But what happened in just a few short weeks? What changed? Why did Tony go back to being his old, jerk self? Timmy couldn't remember anything that he would have done to surface the actions. Not that he would be able to. He was still that sweet, sensative Probie. Today had proved it to a point.

_"...funnier...fatter..."_

Timmy leaned his head against the wall. He would never get Tony. He knew that. So why was he trying? He was wasting his time. For all he knew, Tony could be interested in McCadden. If he was gay, that is. And if not, he could just spend all his time with McCadden being buddy buddy. Even though Tony had told he and Ziva he blew him off, Tony always changed his mind. And if Tony didn't get back into a buddy relationship (or something more) with McCadden, Tony would whore himself into a bunch of relationships with women. Probably with the one girl he'd been trying to get Timmy to introduce him to forever. That would be the worst case scenario.

Glancing at his cell phone clock, Timmy didn't bother wiping his tears away. It was almost midnight. He didn't care, he was hurting. He was hurting and nobody knew. Not that anybody would care other than Abby. Gibbs didn't even want to give him a hug earlier that day. And if Gibbs wouldn't hug him...then why would Tony?

Timmy layed down on the floor. He didn't want to get up. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to do anything but cry. He didn't know what else to do. He just felt...numb.

_"...fatter."_

Numb. Being numb was better than feeling anything at all. Especially when the pain you would feel was caused by Tony DiNozzo. Yes, numbness was good.

Numbness was safe.

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**Jay**


End file.
